“Snail’s Ails” A short story by Simon Bailey

Snail’s Ails

“I wish I could fly.” Jena remarked to Teddy as she gazed wistfully out of her bedroom window.

Giving a long sigh, she then glanced at Teddy as if half expecting an answer.

Teddy was an ancient and somewhat moth-eaten bear and, of course, wasn’t in the habit of replying.

At seven years old, Jena knew many of her friends had given up their teddies, but she still found it comforting to think he was listening to her private thoughts.

“I could fly to China and see how people live there.” She continued. “Another day I might pop over to India.”

China and India sounded like exciting places, and impossibly far away from England, where it was a cold Winter’s night with snow tumbling in white fluffy blobs, covering the trees and gardens as far as the eye could see.

There was a full moon tonight, which lit up the snowy blanket, making everything look new and sparkly white.

Although it was beautiful, Jena was glad to be in her bedroom where everything was warm and cosy.

While she stared out of her window with a faraway look in her eyes, her mum bustled busily into the bedroom.

“Time for bed darling! “She said, walking briskly over to Jena’s bed and pulling back the duvet.

“Have you cleaned your teeth properly?”

“Yes mummy of course I did. I always do.” Jena protested wearily. Why her mother should even think of asking such a question was a complete mystery to Jena.

Of course, she loved her mummy and daddy very much indeed, but she did sometimes wonder whether they really understood the important things in life.

“Hop in then!” said her mother, still holding back the duvet and waving her arm encouragingly.

Jena tossed her dressing gown onto the chair and lept into bed. Her mother kissed her on the forehead and quietly slipped out of the room, snapping off the light as she went.

Like she did most nights, Jena lay quietly in the darkened room, thinking about anything that happened to pop into her mind.

She wondered where her pencil sharpener had disappeared to.

Jena was sure it was there in her pencil case this morning. But now it had gone missing. Maybe, she thought hopefully, it would turn up tomorrow.

Something she felt very sad about was the snail she had trodden on earlier that day.

It was all a terrible mistake. She hadn’t meant to. She’d been walking down a path, minding her own business, when there was a loud “SCRUNCH!”

Although she had apologised loudly to the snail, by then it was too late. The snail was already past caring and even now, hours later, Jena was still feeling upset.

Before anything else could pop into her head, her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of something tapping gently against her bedroom window.

At first, Jena ignored it. It was probably just the tips of a tree brushing against the window panes as the branches swayed in the breeze.

But there it was again!

This time, a little louder.

Jena lifted her head from the pillow, and for a moment, forgot about her terrible memory of the squashed snail.

There was just enough dim light seeping under the bedroom door for her to see that her curtains were not moving.

She thought about getting out of bed to take a look, but it was so cosy and warm under the duvet, she decided to stay where she was.

But when it happened a third time, the tapping was so loud, Jena jumped out of bed and threw back the curtains.

To her surprise she found herself staring into the unblinking eyes of a large owl perched on her window sill just the other side of the glass.

Quickly pulling up a footstool and standing on it, Jena reached up to open the window. Immediately, a draft of cold air rushed into her bedroom.

“At last,” said the owl sternly. “You took your time!”

In the bright light of the moon, made even stronger by the reflection back from the snow, Jena could see quite clearly the owl had particularly fine feathers and a business like beak and sharp talons.

Although she was normally quite outspoken, Jena found herself saying “I’m so sorry to keep you waiting.”

Afterwards she thought that had been a silly thing to say. How on earth could she possibly have known there might be a talking owl sitting on her window sill, waiting for her to open the window.

“If you’re not too busy,” said the owl politely, “would you care to join me for a short flight?”

“Where to?” Jena replied breathlessly, without pausing for a moment to consider the fact that flying for humans was just a dream.

“Oh, just here and there,” said the owl vaguely. “It would be so awfully nice if you could join me for a short spin.”

“Well actually,” said Jena, suddenly feeling disappointed, “my mother and father told me never to speak to strangers.”

“And did they say anything about owls?” Enquired the owl in a matter of fact voice.

Jena thought for a moment and said “Well no, not exactly, but I…”

“Then it’s all agreed,” said the owl without waiting for her to finish speaking. “We should leave immediately.”

Without twisting its body, the owl suddenly spun its head right around until it was facing in the opposite direction. For a moment, Jena felt its head might fall off, but it didn’t. Maybe that’s how owl’s heads are supposed to work.

The owl gave three very loud hoots and then a strange thing happened.

Peering into the distance Jena saw a huge swarm of bees appear, and start heading straight towards her.

This was puzzling. Jena felt sure it wasn’t bees, because as far as she knew, bees didn’t like to fly at night.

Now the flying object began to look more like a flying tree. It was about the right size with what appeared to be a long trunk, exactly like a tree.

Above the trunk there were lots of branches with leaves on top, all flapping and blowing in the wind.

At this point, Jena began to imagine she might be going crazy.

Although the moonlight shone brightly, the strange thing coming towards her definitely couldn’t be a swarm of bees and neither could it be a flying tree. If it wasn’t either of those, what on earth could it be?

As the flying object came closer, Jena was astonished to realize what she had thought were leaves fluttering in the breeze, were many hundreds of blackbirds, each one furiously flapping its wings.

In their beaks they each held a string. All those hundreds of strings were tied to strong ropes that from a distance had looked like the trunk of a tree.

At the very bottom of this flying curiosity, was a small wooden seat. It drifted slowly through the night air and stopped outside Jena’s open window.

“Hop in!” Ordered the owl.

He spoke in the sort of voice you probably wouldn’t argue with.

So without any thought she might fall down to the garden below, Jena leapt off her window sill and into the wooden seat and clung on tightly to the ropes.

This was all so thrilling and unusual, that Jena didn’t even realize she was only wearing pink pyjamas. Nor did she wonder why the winter air didn’t feel even a tiny bit chilly.

As they moved off, leaving the houses behind, the owl flew on ahead. He had beautiful long wings. Sometimes they would flap gently and sometimes they would just glide, and the owl would float through the air as if by magic.

Down below the snow blanket covered everything. The tops of pine trees were bent right over with heavy white dollops of snow. Here and there, dotted lines of footprints could be seen, made as deer and foxes had criss-crossed fields covered with a thick layer of pure whiteness.

After some time, they came to the edge of a large wood. There were tall trees in every direction as far as the eye could see.

It was a long way down and Jena held tightly onto the ropes as she floated silently over the tree tops.

After some minutes, the owl flew down towards a small clearing amongst the trees. Although the surrounding trees were laden with snow the floor of the clearing was green with grass, without so much as a single snowflake.

The flock of blackbirds above her, slowly lowered Jena down until she was able to jump out of her chair and onto the ground in the middle of the clearing.

The owl flew up to perch on a branch nearby. He sat still gazing out over the clearing, but said nothing. It was as if he was waiting for something to happen.

With their wings beating tirelessly, the blackbirds slowly lifted the wooden chair up into the air again. They floated it away over the tree tops until it was out of sight.

The tall trees kept out the moonlight and made everything seem dark. Jena began to worry how she was going to get home again, but something quite odd happened that pushed all other thoughts out of her head.

A single firefly suddenly darted out from among the trees. Another followed, and then another. Before long, fireflies were pouring into the air above Jena’s head in a swirling cloud of dancing sparks. While these hordes of glowing insects whirled above her, others were settling on trees. The whole of the clearing became bathed in a soft and delicate light.

As the last of the fireflies were arriving, butterflies came fluttering in their hundreds and thousands over the snowy tree tops. Great clouds of them cascaded down. It was like watching a living waterfall. They settled on bushes and the branches of trees, with their wings spread open. It was a beautiful show of colours, that glowed in the light from ten thousand fireflies.

Next came swarms of bees and an army of scurrying mice and shrews. Squirrels scuttled, frogs leapt and toads hopped, until the grassy floor of the clearing and the surrounding trees were covered with insects and small animals.

In the middle, wearing pink pyjamas, Jena stood open-mouthed in amazement.

An enormous snail suddenly slithered on a large rock at the other end of the clearing. It’s hard to imagine the snail being beautiful, but she was. Her shell was decorated with coloured patterns and she wore a small golden crown on her head.

“All hail the Queen! All hail the Queen!” Chanted the assembled creatures, who were now sitting up as if something interesting was about to happen.

As the Snail Queen got ready to speak, the birds and butterflies in the trees became still. The frogs and toads stopped croaking and the mice and squirrels and the other small creatures stopped their squeaking and chattering.

The Snail Queen spoke directly to Jena in a stern voice that echoed around the trees.

“You have been brought here today,” she said, “to answer the charges against you.”

“But I…” Blurted Jena.

Before she could finish speaking, a handsome fox with a large bushy tail slipped silently from behind a tall tree and growled, “Silence!”

The Fox lay down at the edge of the clearing. It looked like he had gone to sleep, but anyone could see he had one eye half open and a pointed ear that flicked now and then, showing he was still listening.

The Snail Queen cleared her throat loudly as if to say, “Everybody listened to me!”

“Is it true,” said the snail in a serious voice, “that you deliberately stamped on Jeremy, who was a kind and thoughtful snail?”

“I couldn’t possibly…” Began Jena in a horrified voice, but she was again silenced by a loud angry snarl from the fox, who jumped to his feet and glared angrily in Jena’s direction.

“And is it also true,” the Snail Queen went on, “that you wanted to stamp on Jeromy because you are big and he was small?”

“No!” Said Jena, “I absolutely…”

“Be quiet!” Snapped the fox, flicking his tail angrily.

“But the Snail Queen asked me a question,” said Jena indignantly, “surely I should be allowed to answer.”

Never in her life had she ever found herself in such a difficult situation.

The Snail Queen who had large eyes on the ends of long stalks, looked very hard at Jena who was now wishing that she had never longed to fly. Things would be much better if she had stayed cosily tucked up in bed.

“Sadly, we see a lot of this,” said the Snail Queen wearily, “careless humans stamp on snail’s and slugs and all manner of small creatures every day that passes. People just like you little girl, walk without due care and attention.”

The Snail Queen moved slowly to a more comfortable position on her rock and went on, “I get complaints from spiders and flies, wasps and particularly the bees.”

“You humans,” she said in a disappointed voice, “you have no cares for the bees who pollinate your apple trees, your pear trees and your cherry trees. They let you eat their honey, but instead of being thankful, you treat them badly. Your farmers spray their crops with chemicals that are bad for the very bees that give you so much.”

Jena was starting to feel very uncomfortable. It seemed like she was being blamed for everything.

“Listen to me,” said the Snail Queen in a serious voice, “can you honestly tell us that you didn’t mean to stamp on poor Jeremy?”

The fox sat down again and pretended to take no interest.

“You may speak now.” Said the Snail Queen, “You must present the case for your defence.”

The fox began to scratch himself furiously. He was twisted into an uncomfortable position with one foot scrubbing away at a very itchy place.

Jena stood up perfectly straight with her shoulders back and her hands clasped behind her back. It’s difficult to look important when you’re wearing pink pyjamas and so she did her very best to look serious and thoughtful.

“Your Royal Highness.” she began respectfully, and a murmur of approval ran around the assembled creatures.

“It was all a terrible accident,” she said, “I was walking along a pathway and I caught sight of some beautiful roses growing up a wall. I was so busy admiring them that I didn’t notice Jeremy making his way slowly across the path. And then I heard an awful scrunching noise under my foot. It was a very sad moment.”

As she spoke, there was some squeaking and croaking from the small animals around the clearing. The fox took no notice as he was now busy scratching another awkward itchy place.

“It’s difficult being a human,” said Jena, “because we’re so big and you’re so small.

The Snail Queen’s eyes peered long and hard at Jena.

“And how can we be sure,” she said, “that you really care for the smaller creatures that you meet now and then in your very tall life?”

“I always rescue insects that get caught inside my bedroom window at home,” said Jena, “I put a glass over them and then slide a piece of paper underneath, so they don’t fall. Then I open the window and set them free. I do this all the time in summer.”

There was a loud murmur of approval from everyone in the clearing and the Snail Queen nodded slowly.

“It’s really difficult sometimes,” Jena said, “to avoid squashing the occasional insect, no matter how hard you try.”

She turned round and pointed at the fox who was still scratching furiously.

“I’m sure Mr Fox wishes no harm to the fleas he may be squashing right now!” Jena said, raising her voice a little to make sure she was heard by everyone.

The fox stopped scratching and an embarrassed look spread across his face. Without making a noise, he turned round and slipped silently back through the trees with his tail hanging down as he went.

There was a roar of approval from the assembled animals. The frogs and toads croaked loudly, mice squeaked happily and for a moment the fireflies glowed even more brightly.

“Not guilty!” Came a shout, and then another and another, until the air was filled with cries of “Not guilty!”

The Snail Queen nodded slowly and her voice rang out around the clearing. “I think there is no case to answer. Not guilty!”

“I’m very sorry about Jeremy,” Jena said, “and when I get home I will put some flowers in a vase to remember him by.”

Shee looked up and saw the flock of blackbirds slowly descending with the little chair.

Walking towards it she took great care not to step on any frogs or mice. Hopping into the seat, she held tightly onto the ropes.

The chair rose slowly into the air and it a minute or so Jena found herself floating over snow laden fields and trees. It wasn’t long before she could see the street lights in the road where she lived.

The blackbirds very gently stopped right next to Jena’s bedroom window. She scrambled off onto the window sill and hopped down into her bedroom.

She clambered into bed, and feeling very tired now, all thoughts drifted away as her eyes closed and she sunk into a deep sleep.

The next thing Jena heard was her mother’s voice calling up the stairs.

“Come on Jena! Get up, or you’ll be late for school! Breakfast’s ready. Pancakes and maple syrup. Get a move on…”

Jena lay still in bed for a moment as she slowly woke up.

The memory of her fantastic flight was very clear in her head but she couldn’t decide whether it had really happened, or whether it was justa dream.

She slid out of bed and walked over to her window. She pulled back her curtains to let in the daylight and outside on the windowsill she saw a small black feather.

There was a gentle breeze blowing that morning and when Jena looked again a second later, the feather was nowhere to be seen.

###

“Feisty Fish” A short story by Simon Bailey

The Story Begins Here!

“Somewhere out there is an enormous fish, and I’m going to catch it” Maddox said with great determination.

His mother smiled, “And that’s what you told me last tine, and the time before”. She carefully placed a widebrimmed sun hat on her head ande picked up a picnic bag.

“Yes I know that, but THIS time, I really really am” Maddox insisted.

“Are you ready?” His mother asked, opening the front door.

“Pretty much” Maddox replied, as he hoisted his rod bag onto his shoulder. His fibreglass rod was a present for his eleventh birthday, and he was hoping it would give him luck.

Maddox caught up with his mother. “Going to try out some new bait this time. I read that shrimps are good for catching sea bass.”

It was a short walk to the sea, and they were soon scrunching down the stony beach towards the shoreline.

“I’m going to sit here.” His mother said, plonking the picnic bag down and spreading a blanket out.

Maddox quickly set up his fishing rod, and put a fat shrimp on the hook. He cast the line far out to sea and perched the rod carefully onto a rod rest, so the rod pointed upwards. He had put a small bell on the tip of the rod to alert him as soon as a fish began tugging on the end of the line.

Putting up his deckchair, he settle down for a long wait.

Time passed at a snail’s pace, and the sun sparkled and shimmered across the flat sea. Maddox glanced over at his mum. She was snoozing on her blanket with a sun hat over her face.

I think it’s time for an ice cream, thought Maddox to himself. And leaving his comfortable deckchair, he scrunched back up the stony beach to the car park, where an ice cream van was patiently waiting for customers.

“Large cornet please.” said Maddox to the bearded man in a white jacket and matching hat, who was leaning out of the van’s serving hatch.

The man didn’t move, but a smile appeared from somewhere under his bushy beard. “You here to fish?” He said with a gravelly voice.

“I want to catch a large sea bass, and I’m baiting up with shrimps.” Maddox said.

“Ha.. you’ll be lucky” the man said cheerfully as he scooped generous dollops of creamy ice cream into a cone, squashing them down with the back of the scoop.

“You want flakes?” He asked, and without waiting for an answer, started poking chocolate flakes down into Maddox’s ice cream.

“There you go.” He held out his handiwork for Maddox to take. “I’ve been fishing around these parts for years.” He went on, frowning and shaking his head. “No one’s court any big fish from this beach. Three pounds is about the largest I’ve caught. You’d need a boat to catch the big ones.”

The man gave a cheery wave as Maddox strode away, slurping on his ice cream.

A shout followed after him, “Well… good luck son. Tight lines!

Maddox was soon back, standing where the water meets the beach. He put some fresh bait on the hook and cast out his line with a mighty swing of his fishing rod. As he settled back into his deckchair, he had a feeling that things would be quiet for a while..

But Maddox could not have been more wrong!

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