In that great lottery of life – they manage to stumble across the ideal partner for them. A relationship blossoms and they both seem radiantly happy.

The couple sail away into their future like two peas in a pod. It doesn’t seem to matter whether the sun is shining or whether there’s a force ten gale blowing, they remain in perfect harmony.

Their happiness never fades. In fact their relationship seems to gather a greater value and depth as the years pass – much like a well cared for antique table with a patina borne of endless bee’s wax and gentle buffing.

We can all think of one couple who seem blessed with this perfection and we all want a slice of it for ourselves.

However, for the rest of us – it’s a battle.

Driven on Lemming-like, blinded by our dreams, in a blur of of hope and expectations, we settle for someone who appears to have some redeeming qualities.

We mistakenly see a beautiful or handsome face as being an indication of the whole person. We interpret a snatch of kindness as a permanent trait. We notice a positive streak and assume it’s an enduring feature.

Those first impressions have us tumbling helplessly like coconuts at the fair.

In our hurry to get hitched, we fail to dig deeper. We have assembled a relationship like an Advent calendar with half the windows still unopened. And we foolishly assume there’s chocolate behind every flap.

So we set sail on a sunny day when there’s barely a ripple on the water. Happily we glance back to see handkerchiefs waving and hear shouts of the well-wishers ringing in our ears. Mother has a tear in her eye.

As the storms batter the tiny vessel, hairline cracks appear. The Good Ship Lollipop seems less joyride and more rollercoaster.

For every snatched moment where you bask deckside in the sun – it seems there are gruelling hours spent toiling in the dark, dank bilges bailing water to stay afloat.

How often you find that one of you does more bailing while the other enjoys more sunshine.

It’s the shipwreck that sets you free!